Becoming Dead

“I was born genius, education ruined me”. Many times I thought about these wordings, why people say like this. I still believe it is not because of education, but of the situation, where our knowledge placed us.

When I was doing my school and college, all of my colleagues, friends and teachers wish me “you will become high position.” But I knew my fate, when I was studying 11th. From that day itself, whoever wishes good things to me, it reflects just opposite or it would be disgrace to me. Many incidents happened and it still continues.

It is the fifth job in my career life. I feel, it will give me best / break. Yes, it given many good things and bad things too. I got some good friends, even I can say, got a best friend after coming to this customer place. But the breakings started from the customer side. There is an operation head in the organization, which makes people dead and makes them in his control to work. He is the all in the entire branch and he wanted to put his head in everywhere, even in IT. He wanted to work the people in his style. But his style is very dangerous and bad. He never throws out the unwanted things. He speaks publicly, I will never do that, but he silently keeps the things and making waste in all kind of matters. Majority of the staff never denied his order. If anybody does, he says, I will sack you. Because most of them are working for their family (he doesn’t have), they will obey his rules. Making corruptions for him, and shouldn’t allow anybody to do that.

I was very active in the extra-curricular activities, when I was studying. I even thinks a lot and makes good article ( I believes ). Programming level and thinking level was good. When I join with this customer, I lost everything. My brain is not at all working; I never feel to think, especially in the case of programming time. I become a spoon-feeding baby. My thinking power only works for to make arguments and to fight with anybody. Over the last 2 years, I never feel or know, what is known as rest? Works like 24x7 that is because of this mad man. The technology, which made easy to the human life, becomes badly affected to my life. Lost sleeping time and I couldn’t find time to have chat with my friends or to enjoy with them. I meet them through internet chat engines, forwards the mails, whatever hits to me. Adding friends, through new new community sites and scraps them, whenever I feel. Sometime, just reply them.

The loneliness, boring of life increases day-by-day, even making angry to myself. I think, everybody makes benefit from me. Everybody says, “You are so helpful to others and have a good mind”. So, all of them will approach to me, only to take the benefit, they never approaches or asks, how you are, in a friendly sound. I have lots of “friends”, but I found only two of them are the real friends’. But I never like to disturb them by saying my worries. My worries and problems will be buried with myself. Because they have lots of responsibilities in their life, why should I? The feeling of becoming a dead can change through a good communication. But I feel to change the job for that.